Just got back from Holy Week

March 18, 2005--> Had class in the morning, good thing it was China and it was all about 'Greater China'. Tried finishing all administrative tasks I could...had lunch with Nico at Shang, then was fetched by Papa in school. Drove all the way from UA&P (actually Papa & I switched near St. Paul's) to Baguio. We stopped at Matutina's for dinner, superb sinigang na hito! Thank God for mp3s, thank God for kuya being generous enough to give edzon one, thank God for the inherited taste in music that Edzon got from his older sibblings.......for all those things that brought Papa, Edzon and I to baguio alive, THANK YOU!

Nothing much changed in Baguio, still the same old stores, same old goodies, same old bars to go to, except the new ones in Nevada Squre which were rockin loud!!! We had our first dinner at Luisa's, strolled and killed some time in Burnham then headed to Gimbals. The bands had more or less the same people who have switched band names and band members. Great night, not biting cold but not Manila hot either.....

Pretty much spent most of my time at home with Dadang and Annie's kids. It helped a lot hanging out with kids again, the toddler ones, the ones that you could have untireless small talk with and still enjoy and be amused in every way possible.

The cable at home is great! We were able to watch the Pacquiao-Morales fight before anyone in Manila, so of course I just couldn't keep this information all to myself.......had to spread the match's victor.

We rushed to Manila Wednesday afternoon to be able to join the family's Bignay outing, of course I drove for the three of us again, stopped at Matutina's once more for a hefty dinner. No regrets that we joined the Bignay outing, it was a blast! :D

Never got soo drunk in my entire life, never barfed so hard in my entire life, never felt as good in the morning after being wasted so deep the night before. Enjoyed again the company of the kids of Ate BabyYoung and Tintin.

Interesting........met Dennis' half-brother, Ten-ten, his name has the same history as mine.......weird actually........how our parents thought of naming us this way based on our birthdays would probably be the same kind of explanation that we would give to the Egyptians who thought the need to create their own hieroglyphics in almost the same period when the Chinese thought of creating their own calligraphy. Same manner of thinking and same series of coincidences...Tenten is one year older than me, our parents never met before but we share the same history in the creation of our names.....coincidence actually plays a big part in history, bigger than most historians, anthropologists, scientists and academics would want to admit! They have theories which explain these but when we get back to the basics it really all boils down on coincidence...chance...destiny perhaps?

Are all these series of unfortunate and fortunate events leading us to sometime and somewhere where our actual purpose in life has been reached???

I'm back in my desk again, probably wasting the money my work is giving me by using the energy that they pay to my blogspot.....what the heck! This is what keeps me sane.......

Can't wait!

I just had a pain in the neck the other day trying to put these darn photos on the right blog but can't seem to get to. A friend volunteered to do it but of course I wouldn't wanna risk her knowing my blogspot so I'll leave it as is........

I know I am wasting my time but I just need to say that I can't wait to leave this smog-enveloped city and go North. I'm sure it wouldn't be perfect but I would love to take on the challenge...

Since I got here in the Philippines when I was 3 and visited Baguio, going there has always filled me with excitement. I used to think I would meet the man I would marry in Baguio but not anymore. I'm still looking forward to getting rich and building a lovely house there with my husband......errr.....future.....soon to be....

Better start checking papers and preparing for class........

Superheroes........

Ginilit mo ang leeg ng isang despota

The fury and the gatekeeper, harbringer of souls to the eight circle of hell.......

Anong katwiran ang iyong ihaharap???

Anong nakikita mo anak ni Priam???

Kumukulong Dugo!!!!

Catching the prey....Orestesssss.....

Ang reyna ng pait nagsilang ng ahas

Flying high

Deep wounds scar longer and heal painfully

I was already lying in bed, lights off when I was suddenly urged by my enthusiasm to text my baguio friends to tell them that I'll be in the city of pines starting saturday...got one reply...

Then it suddently daunted on me........Holy Week......late night outs..........Papa

Last Holy Week or it was probably two years ago, the Cuas (Celeste, Roman and their mom) called me on either on the evening of Holy Thursday or Good Friday and told me that they were in Gimbals! Edzon and I of course were game to go but Papa vehemently refused! Mama was cool about it but Papa was once again power tripping........

.......he gave no logical and sensible reason why we shouldn't go, I was contented to just take a cab but he still egged on his rule.......

.......that destroyed the entire break for me.......

.....all of a sudden, i felt like a fifteen-year old trapped in an empty cage, hungry for human contact, deprived of my social potencies and thirsting for fun......

.....frankly, that time, i wished i have just gotten myself pregnant to escape from him!

Anyway, after recalling those events, I lost sleep and am now using this ever reliable blog to pour out the bottled anger and frustrations of that bleak night in Baguio.

I have to talk to Papa sensibly about this not happening else, I'd just make plans with Nico and some friends to go out of town! Will do, have to!!!

I owe myself a decent vacation, even if some may think i'm taking it at a rather awkward timing.

Missing being a fury…..and speaking as a chorus

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I’m trying to move on, trying to finish pending work, struggling to get administrative work done so I can move to the revisions of the thesis. Seeing that the deadline for submission is on April 13 didn’t help…was starting to think of procrastinating already…



It’s 4:12 p.m now, should be having butterflies in my stomach as Loree braids my hair ever so delicately for my fury part…if we have a show.

I thought the bulk of work would distract me, I trusted that I would not hear of anything that would have to do with Clytemnestra. I figured the out of town last Sunday would bring closure to the play…but no!!!

How does one move on from an appendage that has been physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically present for almost four months?

Second to the last show

Nico was there but didn't bother to stay for awhile to congratulate me, even to mingle with the rest of the cast! I feel so frustrated now and I think if he asks me to call it quits now, I think I can amiably agree!

I'm sure he'll get more mad when he reads my text telling him how I feel.

Sometimes its tiring trying to understand him and being patient with him. I'm sure he'll get angry the same way I do when I see that he's angry....another one of those vicious cycles.

I'm sleepy.................

how do we pick the missing pieces?

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I've told some people this...I don't write when I'm emotional, I write when I am stable, when all hormones have balanced and when I reach the trough of denseness and numbness after an emotional whirlwind.

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Yesterday, I was at starbucks libis for around three to four hours, trying to check the APS 102 longtests while drowning myself in memories and thoughts.

When I glanced outside the glasswalls, I realized I was sitted in a very strategic and meaniful position because one of those advertising shops across the road was named ...NICO... at least from my vantage point. Weird, i thought! Now there goes the fate I've been waiting, there goes destiny and here comes the sign! The shop was named differently but because I was sitted where I was sitted, NICO was what I saw, how weird can that be?!?

Then of course I started a rampage of sweet nothings to Nico, bothering him at work but getting very satisfying responses nevertheless, I guess he was happy as well to feel so lighthearted from my texts.

That plus other things swirled through my mind as I allowed myself to be immersed in a montaige of events that have just happened to me, events which I wanted to happend and events which I just thought could or would happen.

Suddenly, I felt that I am actually nearing a crossroads in my life. Nico just texted me this morning saying that he decided to stop table tennis for awhile. "Very timely", i thought considering that after this week, I'll be done with Clytemnestra.

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And so I wondered (in a very Sex and the City, Carrie kind of way...) how does one handle BIG transitions in life? How long should we get attached to something that has been part of us?

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The last time I felt this way was when some of my cousins from Australia and Canada came over and I brought them to Sagada in December 2003. I remeber "The Return of the King" helped me move on...

But how about this? Should I just not attend the victory party? Now, we still have four more shows to go and I'm missing every bit of it already!!!!

last night sucked!

Its been awhile since I've felt so mad at myself for something I could've controlled but didn't...just because. It was the second night of Clytemnestra and as chorus and furies, we sucked!

Fatigue factor, maybe....new masks, maybe....tiring day, maybe....